And You Say He's Just A Friend!

And you say he’s just a friend!

By Dexx2G

Oh yes ladies and gentlemen!  It’s that topic that has come up time and time again in every single relationship ever.  One month, one year, five years or ten, no matter how long you’ve been in a relationship there has been that question:  Who the hell is she? 

In high school (especially mine) you could not help but have a ton of female friends. And ladies as you read this blog please substitute she for he because please believe this works both ways.  It wasn’t odd to be seen hanging out with a female/male that you weren’t dating.  It was actually quite acceptable.  Was it the innocence of youth that allowed for such openness, or was it that she hasn’t felt the scorn of betrayal yet?  Whatever it was it was still alright.  Don’t get me wrong I know most of you are already saying I don’t have a problem with my Lady or my man having friends of the opposite sex! “But I gotta know them too!”  You can’t know everybody.  Everyone has a friend that your partner doesn’t know and that’s perfectly acceptable, IF that friend is not of the opposite sex.  As we get older it becomes less and less acceptable for the opposite sex to co-mingle when you are in a relationship, especially if either party is single.   What is it that forces us to draw this line? I’ll tell you!  It’s dishonesty, its greed and most of all its insecurity.

Most people don’t trust the opposite sex around there significant other because they know what they themselves are capable of and the acts of ill repute that they may have committed in the past and gotten away with or not gotten away with.  Or it’s the countless times there heart have been broken.  Now I don’t expect anyone to incriminate themselves on my blog, but be honest with yourselves.  In my opinion I do believe having friends of the opposite sex is a very possible and a very healthy habit.  Most of the more intriguing conversations that I’ve had have come from the opposite sex.  It’s hard to debate with someone with the same point of view.  Going to parties with the opposite sex makes things more interesting also, not because you think you’re going to get some at the end of the night but because socializing with the opposite sex is engaging.  Ladies, when you are out with your girlfriends at the bar, how boring would it be if no males approached you and started a conversation?  How boring would it be if it was just you and the girls agreeing with each other about everything?  Who would you talk to if you wanted a male point of view but not your partners view?  It’s the individual that decides how to carry an opposite sex friendship.  I have several real close female friends and unfortunately I don’t get to hang with them often because they live out of state but not every friend, male or female is worth introducing to your significant other.  Now when your friends are attractive, and your other half feels threatened that’s when you’re going to get the questions and doubt.  If you know you are that person that has a poor history of infidelity then hey, you’re getting what you deserve.  Don’t worry I’m not completely oblivious to reality.  I am aware that however unintentional or innocent as some friendships are, they can sometimes create a mixed signal situation and someone develops feelings.  I believe that before you relegate that friendship you should try correcting the person and letting them know you’re involved and that you just want to be friends but if they persist then you dismiss, because if you don’t  you will never be able to have another friend of the opposite sex again. It’s not easy, especially when jealousy rears its ugly head along with insecurity.  But if you are responsible and you actually care about the person you are with you will compromise and you will have a healthier relationship for it.  Don’t force them to do things behind your back.  It’s human nature.  Let me know what you guys think.